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5 April 2020

Older men

All of the Kayleigh Daniels Dated stories are works of fiction. But I’ll admit that for added realism, I’ve mined some of my own experiences and planted some elements of myself into her stories. This is particularly true in the case of the most recent KDD story ‘Silver Fox #1’.

Story time…

When I was 24, I met a man at a literary event. He was 50 and divorced. The attraction between us was immediate. The event ended and everyone went home. 

My heart leapt when I got a notification to say that he’d followed me on Twitter. We chatted online often. A year went by and we bumped into each other again (predictably, he was greyer than before). This time round, he asked me out.

We dated. The chemistry was sizzlin’. The fact that he was more than double my age felt entirely irrelevant (but also, conceptually, quite hot).

 “You’re dying to see my naked body, right?”

When it became obvious that were gonna bang, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “You’re dying to see my naked body, right?” I nodded.

Written down like that it seems sleazy, right? But, honestly, I remember being so turned on, knowing that I was about to see an older body up close.

An older man’s body is not something we come across often enough, because, unfortunately, society is pathologically obsessed with youth and beauty.

*

Anyway, the sex was pretty ordinary. But I found him inexplicably compelling. We hooked up occasionally for the next four years. The last time I saw him, I casually mentioned that his eldest daughter was now the age that I was when he first eyed me up. He didn’t like that.

*

I spent most of my twenties thinking much, much older guys were it.

I discovered many things about older bodies. Sunscreen just didn’t seem to be thing for Boomers, as proven by the many leathery, sun-damaged chests I laid my head on.

So, why always older? Dunno. It’s just a thing I’ve always been into.

My ‘thing’ was to guess the proportion of grey hairs down there, while I was undressing them. We would roar with laughter whenever there was a surprise – like having a properly silver mane, but actually being still mostly all dark downstairs. And then, when they were sleeping, I used to watch with amusement and fascination as grey nose hairs flapped as they snored loudly.

So, why always older? Dunno. It’s just a thing I’ve always been into.

Another story? Oh, go on then…

When I was 14, I got a job working in a little shop for a few hours every day after school. There was a men’s hairdressers a few doors down.

The owner of the hairdressers was rather handsome and very, very charming. He was probably pushing 40 (and had a wife and a little daughter).

He’d often come in to buy stuff and we’d chat. After a while, I twigged that there was some kind of mutual attraction and we’d flirt a little.

I kept that job until I sat my A-Levels, and by the time I left home I was on very, very friendly terms with him. He’d sometimes even cut my hair, if I asked him nicely.

Recently, I bumped into him in the Supermarket while on a visit back home (he’s actually still pretty fit 😉). We hugged hello (this was pre-COVID-19) and made small talk.

Would I ever ask him whether, looking back, he thinks our friendship was inappropriate? No, I wouldn’t. The flirtation we enjoyed was harmless (I feel a bit bad for his wife, though) and he never once touched me.

However, in the eyes of others, his behaviour could most definitely be classed as predatory.

I’m very aware that sharing my personal experiences could be seen as trivialising the very real problems of grooming, power imbalance and coercion.

So, to mitigate this, when it came to planning the ‘Silver Fox #1’ companion body talk piece, ‘Age-(in)appropriate relationships’, I commissioned it out to a pair of Barcelona-based sex workers and activists who had plenty say on the topic, as well as first-hand experience of the issues that Kayleigh’s experience brought up.

About the sexperts:
Linda Porn is a Mexican artist who works with all disciplines that are at her fingertips such as performance, video, cinema or theatre. Her common themes are: Transfeminism, sex work, colonialism and motherhood. Her work has been exhibited in museums such as the MoMA, the CCCB and MACBA.

Kali Sudhra is a Canadian activist and sex worker. Her work focuses on presenting dissident sexuality using porn as a medium. Her films have been shown at erotic film festivals: CineKink in New York, Smut Club Film Festival in Australia, Porn Film Festival Vienna, Satyrs and Maenads Porn Film Festival, Hacker Porn Film Festival, Nuit Raunch and Berlin Porn Film Festival.

Do check out their work. NSFW, obvs.

NB. Sadly, ‘Silver Fox #1’ and ‘Age-(in)appropriate relationships’, will be the last cycle of branded KDD content for the foreseeable future. We dream of coming back bigger and bolder, so watch this space.

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